est. 1981

who needs ritalin when you’ve got meth?

In Uncategorized on July 11, 2006 at 6:33 pm
According to the New York Times, the new crime du jour for meth addicts is identity theft.

Apparently, the meth gives you such a long high (as opposed to crack or coke which quickly end) that, when coupled with its intense sense of focus, it is the prime drug for use during detail oriented activities, like identity theft.

You see, those slacker crack heads don’t have the ability to think about much of anything aside from getting more crack, whereas meth freaks can just sit at a computer, or walk around stealing letters from mailboxes for hours on end, with no sense of boredom due to repetition.

Suddenly, I have a brand new image of speed freaks in my head, like a functioning alchoholic except moving faster. These guys are flying through a couple identities a week, writing bad checks, paying rent under assumed identities, and buying supplies to go home and carefully mix together more meth.

I’m thinking back to the meth lab that they found in my college when I was a senior. It was in the fine arts building. In the basement. In a practice room.

I almost wish I could have seen it when it was operating. Perhaps there was a very enthusiastic music student in there on occasion, waiting for the meth to finish, as he fervently played the violin. He breaks a string, and without missing a beat, has the violin down, restrung, and back to his chin, not a single note missed.

Or maybe he just sat in his dorm room and played Halo for 48 hours straight. The world may never know.

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