est. 1981

How to Waste a Saturday Night in New York

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2006 at 8:25 pm
I came down with a sore throat last week. I decided to let myself rest this weekend and not go out, in hopes that I would get better by Monday. It didn’t happen, but at least I got some sleep.

Well one of the things I did while I was spending my Saturday night in was watch Saturday Night Live, which I have not done in quite some time. It was the season finale, hosted by Kevin Spacey with musical guest Nelly Furtado. I was somewhat excited to watch the show, if for no other reason than the fact that I like Kevin Spacey, and ever since I had been shown the Lazy Sunday bit and Natalie Portman rapping, I’d been curious to see what else was going on with the show.

Wow. TV sure did let me down. It was easily the most draining, pointless 90 minutes of my life, and I saw “Hoodwinked”. Man did it suck. I think the only time I actually laughed was during the bit where Horatio Sanz plays a fat slut named Karen (who reminded me of Molly Shannons 50-year-old woman who continuously yelled “Im FIFTY!” in a pathetic attempt to squeeze a laugh out of the audience). I didn’t laugh because of the bit: I laughed because Horatio and Kevin started to break character and laugh at how stupid the bit was.

I didn’t even laugh during Weekend Update, which has always been my favorite segment. I don’t think Tina Fey has gotten back into the swing of things yet, and Amy Poehler… well she hasn’t even gotten into the swing in the first place.

The funniest bit was Bob Smigel’s TV Funhouse, but that doesn’t really count, because he can make anything funny. Saying that everything was stupid except for TV Funhouse is pretty much a given, and can go with out saying.

There was on trace of wit in the show: Kevin Spacey was admonishing Andy Samberg for being late to rehearsal or something, and Samberg gave him a long, drawn out excuse for his absence. Spacey forgave him and sent him on his way. Spacey then took a sip of coffee, got a shocked look on his face, and dropped his coffee mug in slow motion. Thats right kids: only eleven years after its release, they make a joke about “The Usual Suspects.” How topical!

And what the hell happened to Nelly Furtado? The last time I saw her she was this cute little kinda ethnic skater girl. Her music sucked, but she was fun to look at. Now she’s all painted up with big hair, a tiny shirt and hip huggers so tight she can barely move (which is pretty funny, because she has back up dancers that she kind of dances along with, but she doesn’t have enough range of motion to do it). How did she turn into a Mariah clone? Did Avril take too big a chunk of the skater market, while M.I.A. bogarted the funky ethnic block? The mysteries of the music industry abound.

All in all, the night was a bust. However, TV was redeemed by Comedy Central, which was showing “Eddie Murphy Raw”. And uncensored, too! Wicked.

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