est. 1981

Damn it, Ratner Fucked it Up

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2006 at 4:12 pm
I know I’m gonna ruin a lot of people’s weekends, but X3 wasnt very good.

Don’t get me wrong: it was entertaining, but after the bar was set so high by X2, it was sorely lacking in many aspects. You know, little things, like plot, character development, intelligence, respect for the audience… stuff like that.

I will be fair: Ratner did come in VERY late in the game, and when Singer left, he took a lot of the production staff with him, including the cinematographer, composer, editor, production designer and writers. I picture the film as being this lumbering machine that had its head lopped off and replaced last fall: it’s still gonna stumble its way across the finish line, but there will be many aspects that feel unfinished or unrefined. And when you join a picture at that point as a director, so many things are already in motion that there isn’t much for you to do, aside from shaping the best performances possible, which is very hard to do when, 1) Characters and scenes are being added well into production, and 2) You’re Brett Ratner. (No offence, Brett, but I have this image of your directing style consisting of you telling Chris Tucker to be more nasally, or telling Ralph Fiennes to be more creepy.) So we wind up with some of the most wooden, deliberate performances yet in the series, and we all know what that means, right? Half a dozen actors walking around talking like Halle Berry.

Oh well, I suppose it could have been worse: It could have been Fantastic 4… or Daredevil… or Elektra.

And now, the “Do You Know What Happens to a Toad?” Award goes to…
In honor of the great tradition of X-Men movies with terrible lines, take a moment with me to guess which of these groaners was actually in the movie:

1) Now let me out of here, I’ve gotta pee.
2) There’s nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned.
3) I’m Juggernaut, Bitch!

See it on Friday for the answer!

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