est. 1981

How to Spend a Friday Night in New York

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Option 1: Wait in line for three (or more) hours with a few thousand people.

It should be raining, you should have a sore throat, and you should be waiting to walk into a store where you will not buy anything. You should be waiting only to see the store.

…and possibly get a free t-shirt or win a laptop.

You will not get these things, but there should be the chance that you will.

You should take pride in this moment: you will be one of the first people to ever enter this building. This will be something you would tell your children about someday that is, if they wouldnt make fun of you for being such a geek.

At least you get to see the store.

Option 2: Wait in a group for three (or more) hours outside of a movie theatre watching thousands of people walk by.

You should be under a canopy, so as to keep you dry, and you should also be surrounded by police barricades, just like Option 1. However, you are not waiting to enter the theatre. Instead, you should be yelling at others who are entering, in hopes of dissuading them from seeing a movie.

You should make signs, which should have witty comments on them that make people think. But dont bring signs with dead fetuses: save those for another day.

You should take pride in this moment: you will be helping to enlighten people to the fact movies are in fact fictional, unless noted otherwise, and that writers do in fact make things up for there art; even bad ones like Dan Brown. Dont let the Blasphemers, a.k.a. Creatives get away with it! This will be something you would tell your children about someday that is, if the movie didnt go ahead and make $290 million in three days anyway.

So which is a bigger waste of time? Waiting around to see the inside of a glass building, or waiting around to keep people from seeing a bad movie?

Personally, I went with Option 1: it was much less stressful, and I eventually got to go inside, unlike those in Option 2. Besides, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was there!

Hey man, if its good enough for Triumph, its good enough for me.

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